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ANDROID ADDICTION

by Craig Cortright

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INTRODUCTION

This brochure will help the community and family to understand Android Addiction Syndrome. By reading this booklet you will learn to recognize the symptoms, risk factors, and dangers associated with Android Addiction Syndrome.

 

HISTORY

Professor Philip K. Dick fist described Android Addiction Syndrome in 2021. Professor Dick opened the first clinic for the treatment of this disorder in Northern California that same year. Today, over 25,000 Americans have been diagnosed and their names filed with the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention before Treatment. Those at greatest risk are individuals who scan speculative fiction before their tenth year.

 

SYMPTOMS

The first sign of Android Addiction is the development of empathy for machines. Some patients report that they started at a very young age to identify with artificial pets, rather than living animals. Often, the victim is unaware that they have a problem at all, that is, until more severe symptoms manifest themselves in later life. Symptoms include: android friendship, excessive sex-android affairs, and the most precarious symptom, android love.

 

DIAGNOSIS

The diagnosis of Android Addiction Syndrome can only be made by a skilled practitioner under very strict testing conditions. The test will determine if the patient is only fascinated with android abilities, or has truly developed an empathetic response to the artificial organisms. The test is quick and will only be painful for approximately three days. But due to the lifelong damage caused by uncontrolled android addiction, it is well worth the small sacrifice of assorted temporal lobe cerebral tissues. The diagnosis should also be suspected in any person raised by androids or instructed by android life forms at an early age.

 

TREATMENT

The Colonial Government has been looking for a cure, and one is expected before the end of the century. Until then, euthanasia three days after diagnosis is the preferred method of treatment as it protects future generations from defective genetic material, and prevents contamination of the android population with empathetic consciousness.

 

FINDING HELP

If you, or someone you love, shows signs of Android Addiction Syndrome, get help quickly. To get help, contact your local law enforcement station or certified android addiction treatment center. Act now, it may save the future you love. Android Addiction Syndrome, if left untreated may lead to severe social breakdown. Androids, if allowed to merge empathetically with humans, might develop a social, religious or even cultural structure which could endanger the historic dominance of human life in this solar system.


 Craig Cortright

225 W. Central

Bluffton, IN 46714


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